Ten (10) Types of Pull vs Push Support Structures
We all have both types of structures in our lives, but usually we have more push structures than pull structures. A push structure is another way of saying that we are guided and motivated to act or accomplish something by something that's pushing us: a deadline, a sense of duty, out of fear of consequence, etc. A pull structure is something that pulls us forward, without our having to push ourselves or be pushed. Pull structures include a motivating vision, inter developmental relationships, being inspired by certain individuals, etc. Nothing is wrong with push structures, but as one develops personally and professionally, they prefer the lighter touch and more sustainable (and less "costly") pull structures. A good coach can help you to develop strong pull structures.
1. A vision (a pull structure) vs a goal (push structure)
A vision is something that you see or feel that is possible for you or others, yet it's "quite a ways" from being real. Martin Luther King, Jr., had a vision. Visions can take years, decades and even eons to be realized. But for MLK, the vision was so clear and compelling that he was pulled forward to do his part. A goal, on the other hand, is something that you MADE UP. (A vision generally COMES to you -- you don't invent or create a vision, because it's already there! However, you DO get better at feeling, getting and articulating it.) Goals, while still good things, are generally less powerful than a clear vision. Goals require a number of push structures to keep us on track, focused, working, etc. A vision requires almost none of that, so it's less "costly," demanding fewer resources from us and others.
2. Inspiration vs motivation
When you're inspired, you don't need motivation nearly as much. This, because when you're inspired, your internal "system" is touched to its core and it lasts for at least a year, and often a lifetime. When you're motivated, it's generally temporary, because only your ego or instinct is touched. When you are inspired, you are inspired to be more of YOURSELF. When you are motivated, you get excited about acquiring (greed) or becoming like someone ELSE (a public figure, celebrity, etc.). You get cranked up, but it fades when you're out of the motivating environment or relationship. Motivation is an external, temporary high. Inspiration is a internal glow.
3. Choice vs duty
When you are at choice, it's YOU doing what you most want to do. When you are duty-bound, much of what you do is automatic, a learned response. However, when you're at choice, you may CHOOSE to "do your duty." The problem with duty is that most of us were "given" a duty or programmed to think that our duty is OUR duty. We never challenged what we passively or actively "agreed" to. So, when one is duty-bound, they are generally not at choice, and they find ways to resist the duty or "responsibility." This resistance causes friction and frustration and quickly turns duty into a should or ought to. And when it gets there, the only way to keep fulfilling your duty is to create more PUSH oriented structures to keep us motivated to do something that we really would NOT do if you had a choice. By the way, being at choices does not mean that you're irresponsible, flaky, unable to commit or anything like that. It just means that YOU'VE chosen what you're doing and that you can change your mind with minimal consequence to yourself or others.
4. No deadlines vs deadlines
This one's a bit tricky, because most our business lives revolve around getting the job done in a timely manner. And, that means deadlines, whether phrased that way or not, aka accountabilities, performance measures, etc. Deadlines are great, because they are motivating. On the other hand, there may be a different approach to accomplishment, a different way to get the job done than be "guided" by deadlines. I can't say that I know what this is or how to phrase it. But what I can say is that I spend my days simply writing what my gut tells me to write, working on projects that bring me joy and talking with people who make me giggle. And, I make a really good living. Deadlines? Sure, I got 'em. But the fewer deadlines that I have, the more I earn. Funny, huh?
5. Pleasure vs consequence
The threat of a consequence is a very effective push structure, given that we humans are wired up genetically to fight or flight when threatened -- part of that Darwinian Survival Class our forebearers had to take. (If they had failed the final exam, you wouldn't be here.) So, consequence works GREAT, albeit expensively to our souls, bodies, minds and hearts. Is there a better, more sustainable, less costly approach than using or being used by potential consequences to get the job done? I think so, and I'm calling it pleasure. Not peacock-feather hedonism. Rather, more like joy. Joy happens when all of you is engaged (mind, heart, soul, body) and integrated and working together seamlessly. What would your day be like if it was motivated by pleasures instead of avoiding or attempting to stay one step ahead of a consequence? We're pulled by pleasures; we're pushed by consequences.
6. An integrated daily routine vs daily habits
Daily habits, like one's Ten Daily Habits, are actions we take every day that make our lives better, such as flossing our teeth, eating 5 servings of vegetables or making our bed. Habits are great, but when they become a "should" or end up on our to-do list of the day, they become a "thing" vs being "us." The idea here is to make the daily habits transparent so that they just OCCUR vs you focusing/remembering/working at doing them. How can you turn habits into an integrated daily routine? Good question. Keep asking it and the answer will come to you. (In other words, I don't know how to articulate how this can happen, but I know that it's possible and that it does!).
7. The Team Approach vs the Long Ranger Approach
I don't know about you, but I am far more effective when I am working with people that I enjoy, trust and have a real inter developmental relationship with. Inter developmental means that both parties are growing each other, vs interdependent which means that both parties rely on each other. While I'm pretty effective and self-motivating (thanks to my vision), I find that just hanging out with like- and light-minded folks (my colleagues, friends, etc.), that I am pulled forward naturally, and I like that! I used to try hard and I did it all myself and, while this worked pretty well, it WAS a bit lonely and I didn't grow all that quickly, personally or professionally. Let a team pull you forward instead of you alone "making it happen."
8. Being coached vs being managed
Management, fundamentally, about control -- to get you to do things that the manager/company needs to get done. You come second. Management works, but is fundamentally flawed by it's power-oriented approach. Coaching, on the other hand, while not perfect, CAN be a strength-oriented approach, whereby the coach brings out the best you vs just pushing you harder to the prescribed job done. In fact, a coach may help you redesign your job, career, field and life so that it works better for YOU, vs you working better for others. So, being coached often pulls the client forward because they get in touch with what THEY want to do. Managing may also do some of this, but only within the confines of the corporation's overriding needs, culture and objectives. Coaching is a pull structure. Managing is a push structure.
9. Learning vs acquiring knowledge
Do you read a lot? Listen to tapes a lot? Go to seminars a lot? Study a lot? Read Top Ten Lists a lot? (just kidding on that last one) Perhaps you are someone who seeks to acquire knowledge more than someone who seeks to learn from their everyday life. Acquiring knowledge, while a good thing, is still a push structure because you're primarily in the acquisition-of-externals mode. Learning is quite different. Learning doesn't require external information (although info DOES help in the true learning process). The type of learning that I refer to here is the ability to observe, be affected by your environment -- you, others, events, physical environment, and EVOLVE as a result vs just "know" more. When you behavior changes, when you're a happier, when your life gets a whole lot easier, you're probably learning. If you master THIS approach, you'll learn what matters and have a natural learning system, instead of thinking that what you need lives in books and tapes. (Again, books and tapes are GREAT, but use them to supplement how you are learning; don't call the reading of books or the listening of tapes learning.)
10. Cooperation vs competition
Competition can, and is, VERY motivating. It just is. The fear of losing something, the threat of being broke, the fear of being left out sure gets a lot of us out of bed in the morning! But, competition is a vestige of that survival instinct thing, so it's often not US responding; often, it's that animal inside of us that's reacting. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with competition -- it works very, very well. But at some point, a person graduates beyond competition and "gets" the true strength in cooperation (win-win or win-win-win), aka strategic alliances, joint ventures and co-opetition (also the title/focus of a book by Adam M. Brandenburger and Barry J. Nalebuff). One comes to understand and value cooperation as a highly effective way to make more money and add more value. Cooperation is a pull structure. Competition is a push structure.
1. A vision (a pull structure) vs a goal (push structure)
A vision is something that you see or feel that is possible for you or others, yet it's "quite a ways" from being real. Martin Luther King, Jr., had a vision. Visions can take years, decades and even eons to be realized. But for MLK, the vision was so clear and compelling that he was pulled forward to do his part. A goal, on the other hand, is something that you MADE UP. (A vision generally COMES to you -- you don't invent or create a vision, because it's already there! However, you DO get better at feeling, getting and articulating it.) Goals, while still good things, are generally less powerful than a clear vision. Goals require a number of push structures to keep us on track, focused, working, etc. A vision requires almost none of that, so it's less "costly," demanding fewer resources from us and others.
2. Inspiration vs motivation
When you're inspired, you don't need motivation nearly as much. This, because when you're inspired, your internal "system" is touched to its core and it lasts for at least a year, and often a lifetime. When you're motivated, it's generally temporary, because only your ego or instinct is touched. When you are inspired, you are inspired to be more of YOURSELF. When you are motivated, you get excited about acquiring (greed) or becoming like someone ELSE (a public figure, celebrity, etc.). You get cranked up, but it fades when you're out of the motivating environment or relationship. Motivation is an external, temporary high. Inspiration is a internal glow.
3. Choice vs duty
When you are at choice, it's YOU doing what you most want to do. When you are duty-bound, much of what you do is automatic, a learned response. However, when you're at choice, you may CHOOSE to "do your duty." The problem with duty is that most of us were "given" a duty or programmed to think that our duty is OUR duty. We never challenged what we passively or actively "agreed" to. So, when one is duty-bound, they are generally not at choice, and they find ways to resist the duty or "responsibility." This resistance causes friction and frustration and quickly turns duty into a should or ought to. And when it gets there, the only way to keep fulfilling your duty is to create more PUSH oriented structures to keep us motivated to do something that we really would NOT do if you had a choice. By the way, being at choices does not mean that you're irresponsible, flaky, unable to commit or anything like that. It just means that YOU'VE chosen what you're doing and that you can change your mind with minimal consequence to yourself or others.
4. No deadlines vs deadlines
This one's a bit tricky, because most our business lives revolve around getting the job done in a timely manner. And, that means deadlines, whether phrased that way or not, aka accountabilities, performance measures, etc. Deadlines are great, because they are motivating. On the other hand, there may be a different approach to accomplishment, a different way to get the job done than be "guided" by deadlines. I can't say that I know what this is or how to phrase it. But what I can say is that I spend my days simply writing what my gut tells me to write, working on projects that bring me joy and talking with people who make me giggle. And, I make a really good living. Deadlines? Sure, I got 'em. But the fewer deadlines that I have, the more I earn. Funny, huh?
5. Pleasure vs consequence
The threat of a consequence is a very effective push structure, given that we humans are wired up genetically to fight or flight when threatened -- part of that Darwinian Survival Class our forebearers had to take. (If they had failed the final exam, you wouldn't be here.) So, consequence works GREAT, albeit expensively to our souls, bodies, minds and hearts. Is there a better, more sustainable, less costly approach than using or being used by potential consequences to get the job done? I think so, and I'm calling it pleasure. Not peacock-feather hedonism. Rather, more like joy. Joy happens when all of you is engaged (mind, heart, soul, body) and integrated and working together seamlessly. What would your day be like if it was motivated by pleasures instead of avoiding or attempting to stay one step ahead of a consequence? We're pulled by pleasures; we're pushed by consequences.
6. An integrated daily routine vs daily habits
Daily habits, like one's Ten Daily Habits, are actions we take every day that make our lives better, such as flossing our teeth, eating 5 servings of vegetables or making our bed. Habits are great, but when they become a "should" or end up on our to-do list of the day, they become a "thing" vs being "us." The idea here is to make the daily habits transparent so that they just OCCUR vs you focusing/remembering/working at doing them. How can you turn habits into an integrated daily routine? Good question. Keep asking it and the answer will come to you. (In other words, I don't know how to articulate how this can happen, but I know that it's possible and that it does!).
7. The Team Approach vs the Long Ranger Approach
I don't know about you, but I am far more effective when I am working with people that I enjoy, trust and have a real inter developmental relationship with. Inter developmental means that both parties are growing each other, vs interdependent which means that both parties rely on each other. While I'm pretty effective and self-motivating (thanks to my vision), I find that just hanging out with like- and light-minded folks (my colleagues, friends, etc.), that I am pulled forward naturally, and I like that! I used to try hard and I did it all myself and, while this worked pretty well, it WAS a bit lonely and I didn't grow all that quickly, personally or professionally. Let a team pull you forward instead of you alone "making it happen."
8. Being coached vs being managed
Management, fundamentally, about control -- to get you to do things that the manager/company needs to get done. You come second. Management works, but is fundamentally flawed by it's power-oriented approach. Coaching, on the other hand, while not perfect, CAN be a strength-oriented approach, whereby the coach brings out the best you vs just pushing you harder to the prescribed job done. In fact, a coach may help you redesign your job, career, field and life so that it works better for YOU, vs you working better for others. So, being coached often pulls the client forward because they get in touch with what THEY want to do. Managing may also do some of this, but only within the confines of the corporation's overriding needs, culture and objectives. Coaching is a pull structure. Managing is a push structure.
9. Learning vs acquiring knowledge
Do you read a lot? Listen to tapes a lot? Go to seminars a lot? Study a lot? Read Top Ten Lists a lot? (just kidding on that last one) Perhaps you are someone who seeks to acquire knowledge more than someone who seeks to learn from their everyday life. Acquiring knowledge, while a good thing, is still a push structure because you're primarily in the acquisition-of-externals mode. Learning is quite different. Learning doesn't require external information (although info DOES help in the true learning process). The type of learning that I refer to here is the ability to observe, be affected by your environment -- you, others, events, physical environment, and EVOLVE as a result vs just "know" more. When you behavior changes, when you're a happier, when your life gets a whole lot easier, you're probably learning. If you master THIS approach, you'll learn what matters and have a natural learning system, instead of thinking that what you need lives in books and tapes. (Again, books and tapes are GREAT, but use them to supplement how you are learning; don't call the reading of books or the listening of tapes learning.)
10. Cooperation vs competition
Competition can, and is, VERY motivating. It just is. The fear of losing something, the threat of being broke, the fear of being left out sure gets a lot of us out of bed in the morning! But, competition is a vestige of that survival instinct thing, so it's often not US responding; often, it's that animal inside of us that's reacting. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with competition -- it works very, very well. But at some point, a person graduates beyond competition and "gets" the true strength in cooperation (win-win or win-win-win), aka strategic alliances, joint ventures and co-opetition (also the title/focus of a book by Adam M. Brandenburger and Barry J. Nalebuff). One comes to understand and value cooperation as a highly effective way to make more money and add more value. Cooperation is a pull structure. Competition is a push structure.
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Dr. Rollan A. Roberts II
Founder and CEO | iDream
© 2012 Created by Rollan A. Roberts II.
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